Friday, August 11, 2006
Great TV
My wife's favorite show is the monthly broadcast of our town's Zoning Board on public access TV. I used to make fun of her but after finally sitting down and watching an episoded (yes, we actually call them episodes), I have to agree it's pretty great. I mean, if you think people eating worms or having sex with Flavor Flav counts as reality TV, then surely watching real people have meltdowns because a judging panel of petty tyrants turns down their tool shed puts that to shame!
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David doesn't precisely get why the zoning board is such great tv. It's not about petty tyrants, or tool sheds, but about human greed. Most people never took, or forgot, civics 101. People request 4 car garages or pools next to property lines, regardless of neighborhood impact. "The pool is required because of my wife's mother's arthritis and she may live with us in a few years." "My Porsche demands heated indoor storage and my neighbor should overlook the garage, not me, because of the rare speciman trees by my family room." Devoted parents lie that the room over the garage won't be a bedroom for their third child and that therefore they should be exempt from sprinkler laws, all the time fully knowing that they will put a child in there and that they are spending more on their upcoming one week ski trip to Utah in two weeks then they would on the sprinklers.
Better still is the vindictive neighbor trying to stop development. "I can already see their deck from my backyard." "Was the deck in place when you purchased your home?" "Yes, but it was summer and it was shielded by trees so I didn't notice it then." Funnier or more pathetic still is the revenge argument. "My neighbor objected to my addition and it wasn't approved so I object to their proposal." People don't even bother to make up a credible cover story about environmental impact or neighborhood character.
I love the zoning board. It's so much better than the 400th season of the Real World.
David doesn't precisely get why the zoning board is such great tv. It's not about petty tyrants, or tool sheds, but about human greed. Most people never took, or forgot, civics 101. People request 4 car garages or pools next to property lines, regardless of neighborhood impact. "The pool is required because of my wife's mother's arthritis and she may live with us in a few years." "My Porsche demands heated indoor storage and my neighbor should overlook the garage, not me, because of the rare speciman trees by my family room." Devoted parents lie that the room over the garage won't be a bedroom for their third child and that therefore they should be exempt from sprinkler laws, all the time fully knowing that they will put a child in there and that they are spending more on their upcoming one week ski trip to Utah in two weeks then they would on the sprinklers.
Better still is the vindictive neighbor trying to stop development. "I can already see their deck from my backyard." "Was the deck in place when you purchased your home?" "Yes, but it was summer and it was shielded by trees so I didn't notice it then." Funnier or more pathetic still is the revenge argument. "My neighbor objected to my addition and it wasn't approved so I object to their proposal." People don't even bother to make up a credible cover story about environmental impact or neighborhood character.
I love the zoning board. It's so much better than the 400th season of the Real World.
-- contributed by Nicole
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